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Thereupon Myrtilus asked: Where has Phylarchus said this? For I have read his History from one end to the other. When Cynulcus replied, In the twenty-third book, Myrtilus said: Then am I not right in hating all of you philosophers, seeing that you hate literature? You are the persons whom not only King Lysimachus drove by proclamation from his kingdom, as Carystius declares in his Historical Notes , but the Athenians did it as well. Alexis, at any rate, says in The Horseman : “So this is what the Academy is, this is Xenocrates? May the gods grant many blessings to Demetrius and the legislators, for they have hurled to perdition out of Attica the men who transmit to our youth the power of discourse, as they call it.” A man named Sophocles also drove out of Attica all philosophers by a decree; against him Philon, a disciple of Aristotle, wrote a speech, after Demochares, the cousin of Demosthenes, had made a speech defending Sophocles. And the Romans, too, the most virtuous of men in all things, cast out the Sophists from Rome on the ground that they corrupted the young men; later, for some reason or other, they took them back. The comic poet Anaxippus brings out clearly your foolishness when he says, in Thunder-struck : “Woe’s me, you go in for philosophy! But I find philosophers are wise only when it is a matter of words, but when it comes to actions I see they are fools.”
With good reason, therefore, many states, including especially the Lacedaemonian (so says Chamaeleon in his work On Simonides ), refuse to permit the teaching either of rhetoric or philosophy because of the envious strife in which you indulge in your debates, and because of your untimely arguments; because of which, in fact, Socrates lost his life — he who, in the presence of the very men who were assigned by lot to jury-duty, used arguments of the most knavish sort, though his theme was justice; on this account, also, Theodorus the atheist lost his life, and Diagoras was sent into exile; on which occasion, when he was sailing away, he met with shipwreck; again, Diotimus, who wrote the books attacking Epicurus, was sought out by Zeno the Epicurean and put to death, as Demetrius of Magnesia tells us in Like-named Poets . To put it concisely in the words of Clearchus of Soli, you do not pursue a life of dogged endurance, but rather you live truly the life of the Cynic dogs; although this animal possesses a nature that is extraordinary for four qualities, of which you share and keep only the worst. For example, in his powers of perception, with reference to his sense of smell, and with reference to the familiar and the unfamiliar, the dog is remarkable; and in his association with man as the guardian of the house, and in his capacity to watch over the lives of all who treat him well, he is most extraordinary; but neither of these two last qualities belongs to you, who imitate the life of Cynic dogs. For you neither associate with men, nor can you discern the character of anyone with whom you deal, and further, you lag far behind the dog in your powers of perception, and live idly and unguardedly. But the dog is also by nature snarling and voracious, and what is more, he lives an abject and naked life, and both these qualities you diligently affect, for you are given to abuse, you are voracious, and in addition to this, you live on, homeless and hearthless. As a result of all this you are aliens to virtue, and futile when it comes to a useful life. In fact, there is nothing more unphilosophic than the so-called philosophers. For who ever expected Aeschines, the disciple of Socrates, to prove himself such a character as the orator Lysias describes in his speeches On Contracts ? We admire Aeschines as a good, sober man, to judge him by his dialogues published under his name, unless, to be sure, they are really compositions of the wise Socrates presented to Aeschines as a token of esteem by Xanthippe, Socrates’s wife, after his death, as Idomeneus and others of his group assert.
However that may be, in the speech bearing the title Against Aeschines the Socratic , for debt — I will quote it, although what he says is lengthy, to match your loud swaggering, my philosophers! — the orator begins thus: “I should never have expected Aeschines, gentlemen of the court, to hazard a verdict in a case so scandalous as this, and I do not think he could easily find another case that smelt more of blackmail than this does. For the plaintiff here, gentlemen of the court, owed money, with interest at three drachmas a month, to the banker Sosinomus and to Aristogeiton, and he came to me with the entreaty not to permit him to be evicted from his property, because of the defaulted interest. ‘I am setting up,’ said he, ‘the business of distilling perfumes; I require capital, and I will pay you nine obols per mina a month interest.'” Glorious, indeed, is the philosopher’s goal of happiness, this business of distilling perfumes, the natural sequence, too, of the Socratic philosophy! For Socrates was a man who actually disapproved of such a use of perfumes, and Solon the lawgiver would not so much as permit a male to superintend that kind of business; hence Pherecrates, too, says in The Oven or The Vigil : “And besides, what is a man thinking of that he should keep a perfume-stall, loftily seated under an awning, his establishment just a gathering-place for lads to gossip in the livelong day?” Then he goes on to say: “For example, no one has ever yet seen a butcheress or a fishmongeress.” He means that the various arts should be adapted appropriately to each sex. Well, following the words given above the orator continues: “I was persuaded by this plea of his, believing at the same time that as he had been a disciple of Socrates and had been giving many solemn lectures on justice and virtue, he would never undertake or venture upon those acts which only the most depraved and dishonest men undertake to practise.”

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